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My name is Rory and I am an avid/wild dreamer who loves to formulate ideas and creative concepts that makes you think and inspires you to do and live your best life un-apologetically.
I shared this story because, life can be like this sometimes. This is how I felt. I wanted to make life better for myself and my family like anyone else. I did everything the world said to do(go to college to get a good career or job etc). But after the second year, a storm came. I became mysteriously ill and had to leave school( A vacation to Jamaica didn't help). This wasn't work stress. I started to experience a heavy cloud of depression; something foreign to me, because I was always an optimistic person. Anyway, I went back to New York and had to stay with my mother again. During this time I seeked medical help. I traveled from doctor to doctor. I even visited church after to church to see if anyone could help me or pray for me(I didn't find any relief). I decided to read the bible myself and ended up reading a scripture I didn't understand and it sent me spiraling into greater depression. This shook the only strength I had; my hope in God's love for me. I never completely let go of faith, but I struggled from that moment.
It was recommended that i take anti-depressants(I tried it with caution), but ended up in the ER because my body began to shake violently and I was simultaneously feeling something like electricity on the left side of my head. I began experiencing a whole host of new issues from that moment on. To continue getting treatment, i decided to be a inpatient. Meaning I had to stay in a hospital(Bellevue Hospital) to be observed while drugs were administered to me. I was too fearful to take drugs by myself. This stay lasted 3 weeks.
Since 2006, I have battled. I should have given up many times. I tried to do college again, passing all the placement exams. In my chemistry class, I realized I couldn't see the board, and spent a few weeks to get my glasses. Missing vital information. I became overly anxious and hid in the stair cases during classes and during lunch. It got so bad, that I withdrew from school. They are so many more details, that it all couldn't hold here. So I will wrap this up. Eventually, I found a performing arts church called the Rock Churches, where I met two pastors who were identical twins(Bruce and Glen). They helped me to get out the house(I was locked in for years). I worked and did community service projects to help my recovery until i couldn't take it any more and socializing became a complicated thing for me, so I was mostly alone and depressed at home. With God's help and using these amazing men, I have been gradually improving. It's still a journey, but I am not where i used to be and my future is bright. So if you are on your own journey, lets walk together. You're not alone. lets kick some ass!
Music was one of the gifts I discovered I had while attending the Rock. And it has been one of the best therapies for me and others who hear it. Here is one of my first songs I have every written, called Rebels. It's a song where I/we rebel against everything that has kept us down and blinded to the greatness within us. I don't always feel perfect, but as long as I keep fighting and don't give up, I'll be a rebel for life.
The Chorus sings,
"We are rebels, against darkness. Joy, against sadness. Peace, when everything is madness. Forgiveness when this world is heartless."
You know, this is always my pursuit; the mindset and lifestyle I seek.. peace, joy, love etc... especially when you've been through so many trying things. Motivately, is the result of my struggles. It's a part of my testimony. To overcome and inspire others to do the same.